Fat people in public

My friend got ignored today, and I had this awful feeling that it was because she's fat.

I'm fat, but you might have noticed from my pictures that I still have a shape, and it tends to be one that appeals to men of color. I also happen to be tall, blonde and green-eyed so that makes up for something in the looks sweepstakes.

My friend is shorter and MUCH rounder than me. And brunette.

We were at brunch the two of us -- sitting next to each other as it happens -- with two couples. There was another woman to my left and a man to her right. The waiter starts taking orders with me, somewhat logically as I am farthest from him. Or maybe because I am the oldest woman at the table (this is a fine dining place, so the waiters may follow this protocol). Then he moves to the woman to my left. The across the table to the woman near him. Now my friend is the youngest woman present, so no big deal, so far. Then, he skips her and goes to the men. And then gets to her last.

Whatever logic he was following, he skipped her. He didn't just go around the table. Maybe he doesn't like brunettes. Maybe it was because she's fat. I felt awful. I didn't know what to say to her. I still don't. I wish I'd been on the ball enough to do something at the time.

So newsflash, if you're a waiter or some other service person: You may think it's reasonable to skip the fat friend (or the brunette friend or the whatever friend) until everyone else has been served, but the friends don't think so, and we notice. We expect our friends to be treated with fairness and respect. If you aren't getting the tips or business you think you should be, take a closer look at how you are treating everyone in a group.